Arrive at San Francisco International Airport and check in with Uber for a private car. Most drivers prefer to pick up on the upper deck, which is less congested than the arrivals platform. A one-way ride to your hotel in the South of Market neighborhood in a luxury Uber SUV will cost you $81.
You're headed to the elite W San Francisco, which is close to both the gay bars of the Castro and the dance clubs of SoMa. This 31-floor building has a clubby VIP vibe with attractive staffers to cater to your every whim and a DJ on hand to keep the beats pumping day or night. Check into your room and take a moment to appreciate the stunning views across the city, then have the concierge call you a cab to the Castro.
It's time for brunch at Cafe Flore, where you can drink 2-for-1 frozen margaritas and check out the eye candy strolling by. This has been called the unofficial clubhouse of the Castro, and people-watchers should get a good sense of the neighborhood vibe. There's bound to be plenty to look at; the Castro prides itself on a free-spirited approach to both clothing and public displays of affection. Who knows, you might even see some streakers run by on their way to Jane Warner Plaza.
After you've filled your belly and had an eyeful, make your way to Baker Beach in the Presidio, which is probably the sunniest beach in the city. The northern edge of the mile-long beach is where you'll want to drop your towels and maybe your trousers; it's also the nude section and can be somewhat cruisy. You should also keep your eye on the surf, the porpoises love to play in this part of the bay.
Grab a quick shower at the hotel to wash away the sand, then take your new suntan out to dinner at Citizen's Band, a hip eatery on Folsom Street serving contemporary diner fare. It can get noisy in here, but it's good preparation for your night of clubbing. There's even a dance club next door if you want to cut the rug between courses.
Before you hit the club, stop in for a drink at the Lone Star Saloon, just two blocks from the restaurant. Catering to bears and bikers but welcoming to all types, this is a gay dive bar of classic vintage. There's peanut shells strewn on the floor, a dingy pool table, and a small dance floor, all you really need for a pit-stop on your way to the main event.
When you're ready for more dancing, just pop across the street to The Stud, where a revolving roster of international DJs controls the large, glittering dance floor, and you may catch some world-class drag performances. The club hosts regular theme parties, so you never know what kind of scene you might be walking into. And if you're still awake at 2 a.m., all the best people go to The End Up for house and techno until the sun rises (and beyond, their Sunday T-Dance starts at 6 a.m.).